mend the sky with our hands

me: i want to watch tarzan
me: you know, i think i read a post on tumblr
me: questioning why tarzan doesn't grow a beard
friend: because his chromosomes are XXY
me: 
friend: people with klinefelter syndrome have sparse facial and body hair

 *simultaneously*
Me: That guy reading a Neil Gaiman book is cute
Friend: That guy with the white t-shirt is cute
 *look at each other*
 *look back to confirm*
Me&Friend: Oh, yep. That guy.
 *cackling and high fived*

Me: I've made the biggest lie in my life
Me: There was this questionnaire in Psych tute
Me: Asking how often do you discuss sexual matters with a friend
Me: And how often you make sexual jokes
Me: I answered '3-15x a year' to both
Friend: 
Friend: Yeah, more like 3-15x an hour
Friend: Actually, make that a minute

Friend: omg he's helpless at flirting
Friend: he should've gone like this
Friend: "Do you like chemistry?"
Friend: then you'll go "Not really"
Friend: then he asks "How about our chemistry?"

Friend: He's so cute
Me: So cute he makes me want to poke him
Friend: I want to poke him
Me: lol with what?
Friend: With a pen
Friend: ...is

Friend: No wonder I'm so good at sexual puns
Friend: I've been trained by my parents since I was a child
Me: lol They've taught you too well
Friend: I should put that as my twitter profile
Friend: My childhood was filled with manhood
Me: 
Friend: 
Me: Wha
Friend: What did I just
 -laughed ourselves sick for 5 mins-

Friend1: Omg I miss my crush so much :(
Friend2: Ugh stop it,
Friend2: You're making me miss my boyfriend even more :(
Me: Oh god I miss Sherlock so much
Me: They're coming back Fall next year :(
Friend1: ...
Friend2: I can still understand if you say you miss your siblings
Friend2: But really, that's your response?
Me: Shut up, at least I can go skype with my siblings

Of sharing hot chocolate

Friend1: You want the marshmallows?
Friend2: Oh, yes please!
Friend1: *turn to me* You hear that?
Friend1: That's the appropriate reaction
Friend1: Not freaking 'no marshmallow for my cup, thanks'
Me: Oh shut it

Friend: *trying to look at my dash*
Me: No no no, go away
Friend: What are you hiding, you perv
Me: I'm just trying to protect your delicate sensibilities!
Friend: 
Me: 
Friend: What the hell did you just say
Me: I might be reading Victorian novels at the moment...
Friend: Yeah, that much is obvious

Friend: You know, I wonder sometimes about people
Friend: How can they remember all those plots and characters
Me: Well..they just stick
Me: Especially when you love the characters
Friend: Seriously, I can never do that
Me: If you ask me any of the fandoms I'm in
Me: I can give you down to the freaking lines

Of grocery shopping and pre-exam stress

Me: *looks at battery* Lithium...
Friend: (what's wrong with Lithium batteries)
Friend: (omg is Lithium battery a new thing and that's why she's shocked?)
Friend: (oh god what is wrong with the world)
Friend: Yes...it's Lithium battery. And?
Me: Lithium is the thing used to treat bipolar disorder, right...?
Friend: I HATE YOU
Friend: I was so worried and you're just talking random Neuro stuff

Of sister and Pokemon

Sister: *peeking at my dash* Who's that?
Me: Oh, that's Jesse and James, from Pokemon
Sister: Oh
Sister: I don't really know Pokemon
Sister: I only know Pikachu
 *told my friend*
Friend: SIT HER DOWN AND MAKE HER PLAY
Friend: BEFORE SHE DIES
Friend: AND HAS NOT LIVED

Friend: You just read fanfics for the NC-17 scenes, don't you
Me: Ugh not all of them
Me: Sometimes they just cuddle and that's cute
Friend: Yeah, sure
Friend: They cuddle their genitals

Of sad books and sad movies

Friend: *reading Picoult's House Rules*
Friend: Omg I'm tearing up already
Me: ...you're only on page 3
Friend: You don't have a heart! This is just so sad!
Me: I've read worse
Friend: How about MIB3? Did you cry when we watched it?
Me: I got teary-eyed, but it was cute
Friend: Heartless
Me: You haven't seen me watching Doctor Who
Friend: You haven't seen me watching Glee
Friend: I always use up a tissue box
Me: I cried for 10 minutes straight and my pillow was soaked

Of Raisins and Marshmallows

Friend: Hey, this cereal looks good. Get this one.
Me: No. It has raisins in it.
Friend: God, first you don't like marshmallows
Friend: Now you're telling me you don't like raisins
Friend: If I can tell that to the world
Friend: People will aim pitchforks at you
Me: Hey, my brother likes marshmallows
Me: And my mom loves raisins
Me: They love them enough to cover my part